I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
