It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
