i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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