Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
