I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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