I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
