then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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