i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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