i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
