i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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