you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
wow bdsm is so cute
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
