I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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