I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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