i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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