i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
