Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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