they need to just BURY HIM!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i think i just lost a toe
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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