Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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