New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
