Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
