So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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