i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
