Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
time to smoke my breakfast
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
