Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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