yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
