I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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