If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize