I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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