Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just saw a hot homeless man
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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