you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Houston, we have a squirter
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
