there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
