I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
