My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
