I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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