IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
