When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
