His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
