i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
