I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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