She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
