Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
