Do you still have your period?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
