Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
