Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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