Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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