quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
