Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
where am i from again
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
