I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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