forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize