thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize