Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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