Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
