I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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