I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
