Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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