You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
