If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
